Gross: You think I have too many shoes.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You take me shopping and pick out dresses for me to try on that I never would on my own. You come in the dressing room with me so we can both see how fab I look. You can't take your eyes off me.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You think I look best naked.
Gross: You don't dance.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You don't care if I go dancing with my fake boyfriend regularly.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You go dancing with me every chance you get because you know it's the best foreplay.
Gross: You don't cook.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You make me PB&J sandwiches and chocolate milk when I'm sick.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You pretend you don't know how to cook. You invite me over, cook dinner, let me help, smash the garlic with the side of your German chef's knife (Oh. Wow.). You set the table with placemats, a candle, a rose in a vase and real dishes (clean). You have me for dessert.
Gross: You can't spell.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You read. BOOKS.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You send me flirty/dirty texts at work all day that make me squirm and laugh so hard I shoot Diet Coke out my nose.
Gross: You don't notice when I'm having an especially good hair day.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You remember exactly what I was wearing the night we met.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You notice and compliment me on something new everyday. Especially things about myself even I wasn't aware of: I have dimples, the soft skin behind my knees, my laugh, my small hands, the shape of my bottom.
Gross: You play video games.
Goody Goody (hand claps): You DON'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES. I cannot stress this enough. We all have our prejudices. This is mine.
Grr, Baby, Grr: You have a gidiggitynormous joystick. You know how to use it.
