Big job

Apparently, I am crooked, because I think that building is pretty straight. I imagine hanging there, washing one mirrored window after another, looking down on the city and the ant people, would be a great place to ponder life.

What's the good word?

I am absolutely enamored of my new word find. Snuggery. I'd never heard or read it before until I came across it in a 100-year-old book I just read. A woman retreated to her snuggery for some quality solitary time. Then, last night, I was watching a show on Jefferson Davis and heard about how he and his wife would go into their snuggery to talk and have privacy. Isn't it a beautiful word? We must do a better job of keeping these words in circulation.

I didn't realize we were creating a snuggery, but now I know. We've recarpeted the upstairs and moved in comfy, pretty furniture. My books, artworks, photographs are all there. It gets great southern light. It's soothing, cozy and snug. I shall retire to it immediately.

Yeah

Mets Suck!

If you know one fact at Yankees Stadium, let it be this:

Mets Suck!

Don't worry, you will have plenty of reminders, especially if you sit with the Bleacher Creatures. These, um, creatures will school you in the finer points of Yankeedom, and burn an image of the Bronx into your brain as they do it that you will never forget.

Are the Yankees playing the Mets? No! It doesn't matter! Mets suck!!!!

For instance, if a Yank hits a home run, true fans will roll around on the ground and scratch their asses violently. And scream: Mets suck! Mets suck! You getting the picture? (Never mind that the bleachers are the "family" section. Those little shits need to know this stuff as much as the big people do.)

The music during the game offers ample opportunities to express your feelings. That stupid song, This is how I know I'm hot, becomes pure poetry:

This is how I know METS SUCK!!

And:

We will...we will...rock you!

becomes:

We will...we will...Mets suck!

Okay, that doesn't work as well. But that will not stop you! You know what to do. You will scream it until your throat bleeds! Damn!

Because more than the Sox are retarded, or whoever the Yankees are actually playing has a dearth of sporting ability, or the Bronx Rox 4-evah ...

METS SUCK! FUCK!

Last season in Yankee Stadium. RIP

Please don't tell me what I look like on a bad day

You know you're blessed when your biggest problem is that you HATE the professional photos that were taken of you for your company's new Web site. It seems that I am to be presented as a lipsticked potato. Albino potato. Blech. Everyone else hates theirs too, so I'm in good company. One is even letting me pick which photo of theirs will go up; they can't bear to do it. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are these pictures so sucky?

Things I have done today that I then wrote on my to-do list and checked off to make it look like I've done more than I have

Order address labels with our address for Pilot

Order bone-shaped tag for doggy

Balance checkbook

Fill gas tank

Find photo software to re-install on new computer

Make grocery list (note double list action)

Research upcoming 5Ks

Go to ATM

Ta-DAH!