Who's your buddy?

A former friend poked her head into my life again. This woman was not that long ago my "best friend" and "loved" me so. In honesty, I did consider her my best friend for awhile and treated her accordingly. Unfortunately, for me, at least, that wasn't exactly true. At a time when I really needed her, she decided to tell me that she wasn't a judgmental person -- but she was judging me and found me wanting. And she wouldn't be speaking to me any longer. I quickly realized that it was for the best, but it was a hard lesson to learn.

Recently, she popped up, causing serious trauma for me and people in my life. She hasn't contacted me directly -- yet -- but that doesn't make the consequences any less serious. So she's been on my mind.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was watching Garden State. What a crappy movie, but I digress. As I was watching and listening to the soundtrack, I thought, "this sounds so familiar." And it was. Back when she was all about me, actually too much so, she made me a mix CD that she said would "enlighten me" and she wouldn't stop talking about it. She wanted to know how I felt when I listened to it and how it made me feel about her and all that girly crap. I didn't know what she was getting at, exactly. But she wouldn't let it go (stalker). It was an okay CD. Several songs I had heard before and liked. I never got enlightened, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Because I thought we were friends.

So while I'm watching Garden State, I realize that the mix she gave me, and went on and on about how she had stayed up all night and created especially for me while she was in Europe -- was basically the Garden State soundtrack, plus three Dave Matthews songs (her favorite band, but she knows I LOATHE them). SO LAME. After everything that happened, I knew she was lame, but come on. It made me laugh. Jesus.

Anyway, the positive. She makes me appreciate my real friends, my angels, even more, if that is possible. The ones who draw near when I need them, like LaToya, who somehow knew without me telling her that I needed her tonight. So she came and drank wine with me and kept me entertained with outrageous stories that I'm sworn to take to the grave -- and I will, because she's a true friend.