Stick it to me

Frivolous goodies, mostly for me, me, me: $310

Food and gas money: $25

Getting to spend all day on a road trip to Edinburgh, IN to eat, shop and hang out with the Pinkies: Priceless

One of the Pinkies invited me to a botox party. My first reaction was that I'm going, for sure, just to see what it's really like. Wine, hors d'oeuvres and injections? I've gotta see this for myself. Pinkie T and Pinkie K want the special sauce for their faces. They have the same "elevens" that I have on my forehead -- from giving the stink eye -- and mouth -- we won't go into what those are from here.

I'm not so interested in having the doc do anything to my face -- I like it the way it is -- but another procedure intrigues me. You can get injections in the underarms to stop excessive sweating. Now, I am a delicate flower and all, but this weekend it started getting hell hot here and it's sweathog season, if you know what I mean. I think all I have to do is say that I am "dissatisfied with my ability to perform my current work activities," and/or that I feel "emotionally damaged or injured" due to my sweaty nastiness. Oh, and fork over a wad of cash, of course. I can do that. I'm sure my friends will thank me.