Too confident?

Maybe I won't save the world -- at least at the halfway house. After discussing more details of my experience there with friends and my other half, now I'm questioning my confident attitude about the situation. For instance, at one point, I was sitting in a small, isolated room with four men with the door closed. When one of the teachers came to check on me, it was discovered that the door had locked from the inside, that is, the teacher couldn't open the door from the outside. Some interesting looks were exchanged between myself and the men at that moment. Who knows what they were thinking.

So ... if something were to happen, I could have opened the door, if I could have reached it, but nobody from outside could get in without being let in. At the time, I was so overwhelmed with everything and, yes, feeling confident, that I didn't give it as much thought as I perhaps should have. I don't like questioning my confidence, but I also don't want to put myself in dangerous situations unnecessarily or make others worry about my safety. It touches me that they care so much, though.

Another comment this week from a friend about number 6 -- I think I'm beautiful -- on my list of 100 things also made me think about my confident attitude and how it might be offputting. One good friend had said earlier that it didn't bother them and they agreed that it was true, but I should be prepared to get some negative responses to such a statement. So this second friend said it was a bit frightening. I assured her that I don't feel that way 100 percent of the time. Maybe 99 percent or so. I've just reached a point in life where I know I've got it going on. Why shouldn't I feel that way? If I feel beautiful and other people tell me that I am, I should think that I'm not, or lie and say I don't think I am? Or is this particular area special? Is it okay for me to say that I'm intelligent but not that I'm beautiful?

For me, self-confidence is very attractive in both men and women. I want to be around people who know their minds and speak them freely. Who will be themselves, not worrying too much what others think. Who aren't afraid to try new experiences, show true emotion, get close to people and make mistakes, or have the confidence to make outrageous jokes that make me laugh and groan at the same time. Nothing else is as fun. Nothing else makes a person beautiful from the inside out. I guess it's always impossible to know for sure how you come across to people, but at least when you're self-confident, you don't give it too much thought -- you're too busy doing your own thing.