Wasn't supposed to

It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it?

I wasn't looking for it. Neither was he. I was doing something else. I'd look later. I had my whole life ahead of me.

Some of you know I fought it like a wild animal. It made me ill when I missed him. Damn it! My mind rebelled against itself. I ran the other way.

On paper, I wouldn't have accepted it. I'm not trendy. Being a cougar is trendy. Therefore, I couldn't do this.

I stubbornly fought. He was patient. I said I didn't want the exciting, independent, patient, persistent, genuine, self-aware, intelligent, physical, ambitious, adventurous, thoughtful, confident, devoted man. Who loves to travel and experience the world and life as much as I do and makes it a priority. Who doesn't want kids or already have a brood. Who has a lust for life and learning and teaching. Who is a passionate bickerer and lover. Who tells me I'm a pain when I need to hear it. Who admires me. Who pushes me forward. Who wants me. Who loves me. But he gave me my space and my time. Whatever I asked.

I love him. I love him and he loves me. We are in love.