Botulinum Toxin Type A

The Botox party was all I had hoped for -- and more. Well, I guess it was less funny than I thought it would be, but weirder, so it evened out. Pinkie T and I prepared with a couple of cocktails and headed over, late, as usual. Dr. brought along one nurse and two assistants, one of which had evidently partaken of quite a bit of the miracle drug. Even though she couldn't seem to move her (admittedly smooth) face, she didn't scare off everyone. Kinda looked like Bo Derek -- like a 53-year-old woman who's had a lot of sticking and pulling and smoothing and what not.

After we all had a couple more drinks (I watched to see if Dr. would drink -- he didn't) and got a bit more relaxed, we sat through the spiel. I took the opportunity to check out everyone's skin. The youngest person there couldn't have been more than 21, and she was so tan she looked kind of purple. Apparently, she is addicted to skin treatments, though, and it's a good thing because she's going to be a leather-skinned hag in about four years. Everybody else actually looked pretty good and I wondered why we are all so hard on ourselves.

The purple girl won some kind of peel thingie in a drawing, which seemed to involve scraping her face with a blade. It looked awful but she said it felt good. Then, Dr. got out the Botox needles. One gal who looked about 21 but later told me she was 31 wanted her forehead lines erased. She just plopped down in a chair, leaned her head back, and Dr. put about seven or eight injections across her forehead. She stayed pretty calm but said it felt like fire, and when she got done, she looked like she'd been hit with a waffle iron.

I was thinking maybe I was the only one who doesn't really have a "skin regimen." Neutrogena soap and some Oil of Olay lotion is as elaborate as I get, not the $300, 7-step process or whatever the hell we're supposed to do. I confessed to my skin sins and got squealed at; apparently, they all thought I had the best skin there. So there you go. Get you some Oil of Olay. I think it's about six bucks at Target.

T wavered and then she went for it. She just wanted it right between her eyes for her "elevens." It was only a couple of injections, but after the second one, a huge river of blood ran down INTO HER EYE. Oh, yeah, it was gross. Ugh. While I watched, I felt myself furrowing my brow in disgust, so my elevens are probably worse now (ah, irony). But she remained stoic, got all cleaned up, we ate pizza, and then hightailed it out of there because she had a headache. Uh, yeah, because you just had needles stuck in your head!

Took T to the DQ for some burgers and fries and bonding to dull the pain and she perked right up.

I didn't get my pits done. I did ask about it, but Dr.'s never done it before, so he's supposed to call me with more info later. I'll probably have lost interest by then, but we'll see. T's supposed to see results in about a week.